so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize