who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
