apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
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I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
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Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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