I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
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for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
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Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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