Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Randomize
