i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
