Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Sorry about my life...
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
