i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
