do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
