There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
