you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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