Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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