i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Randomize
