i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
