We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
