Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize