he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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