By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are out for the taking
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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