I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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