So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
