I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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