It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
