Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
