I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
He passed out mid-signature
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like heaven, but drunker
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize