Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
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it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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