i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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