im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
