I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
