Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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