A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Who died my cat blue again?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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