Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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