Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
