69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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