Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize