jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
