i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
