Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
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its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
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She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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