As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
