watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
