***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
