please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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