well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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