the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Randomize