Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
