Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
