Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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