Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
