i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
