You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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