i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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