yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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