a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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