i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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