you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
