It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
then he tried to convert me to islam
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
