We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
