I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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