Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
