My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
