i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
