If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
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But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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