i barfeds in our rink
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
